5 Annoying Stereotypes People Believe About Africa

I was watching TV recently and a programme called Prince William's Africa came on. Now programmes about westerners going to Africa inevitably focuses on huts, tribal wear and bare-footed urchins, all of which makes me cringe. But following the Prince's beautiful wedding and my increased admiration for him, I thought I would give it a chance. Alas, the stereotypes about my continent that is deeply embedded in the Western psyche were prominent.

Here are 5 popular assumptions about Africa, plus the reality:

1. DRUM BEATS
Any show about Africa always but always opens with 'appropriate African music' which is: fast drumming accompanied by lone, mournful wailing or aggressive chants by deep-voiced men.

Reality: Modern Africans listen to African-flavoured Hip Hop, RnB and Afropop by homegrown artists performing in English/pidgin/local languages. Drums do play a major role and traditional African Highlife-style music is popular, but most of the jungle-drumming, Lion Sleeps Tonight 'African sound' you hear is only venerated by Westerners.

Modern African music: If You Ask Me by Omawumi (Pidgin)

2. HUTS
Prince William's Africa took some British youths to Botswana for the first time, and the voice-over stated that they were to "live as Africans: in a simple hut with no hot water, no electricity and a diet of pap porridge." I almost kicked my TV in anger.

Reality: I've visited Nigeria and I NEVER saw a thatched roof, mud-walled hut. Basic, ramshackle structures yes, but even when I visited my grandparents' village I saw two-storey houses and paved roads. I have been to a house with one of those 'squat over a hole' toilets, but the majority of homes in towns and cities are built with bricks and have (sporadic) electricity and water out of taps thank you very much.

Lagos: Look, no Huts!

Lagos Airport: But Western journalists want the 'real' Africa

I'm not saying huts don't exist, I'm saying 60% of Africans live nowhere near one. The funny thing is that airports are situated in the cities so the first thing Western journalists see when they arrive is the bustling traffic and office buildings common to every city, but they don't start filming until they've driven six hours into the most remote village out in the middle of nowhere and call that Africa. Then they return to their comfortable hotel rooms in the city to prepare their reports.

3. WILD ANIMALS
The prevalence of nature documentaries filmed in Africa means that wild animals are so intertwined with notions of the continent that some think lions, tigers and rhinos are a common sight for Africans.

Reality: I saw lizards, cattle, emaciated dogs and one snake, but no safari animals. I know these are mostly found in South Africa or Kenya, but contrary to popular opinion the majority of Africans don't live side by side with giraffes, and only a small population of poor tribes living away from their country's cities hunt game for food.

4. AFRICA AS A COUNTRY
The former US vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin famously referred to Africa as a country, and when many visit Ghana for example they say they've been to 'Africa,' lumping 54 unrelated countries into one indistinct entity.

Reality: The African continent is made up of 54 countries with over 1 billion people and 2,000 languages with almost as many cultures. Each African country has a particular personality and differentiating one from another helps to promote this fact.

5. LOIN CLOTHS
There's the over-used convention when film crews visit Africa of filming a row of scantily clad women in grass rara-skirts and beaded ankle jewellery, and spear-wielding, loin-clothed men with feather-headpieces singing and hop-dancing to welcome visiting western dignitaries who look on in benevolent appreciation.

Reality: I watched the DVD extras for the well-known movie The Gods Must Be Crazy (1981) which revealed that the loin-clothed African Bushmen running around the Kalahari dessert featured in the film were wearing costumes the director provided, as they usually dressed in trousers and T-shirts. Most of the 'authentic Africans' presented as a spectacle for tourists dress that way to make money. Whilst this display of culture is interesting, it does not reflect the daily attire of rich and poor Africans who wear 'western' clothing or fully-covered ethnic designs similar to those featured on my British Weddings vs Nigerian Weddings post.

Constantly featuring images of Masai warriors and Zulu dancers and saying 'This is Africa' is like focusing on Burberry & gold-jewellery-wearing 'Chavs' or handkerchief-waving Morris Dancers and saying 'This is Britain.' These are distinct sub-groups and traditional 'actors' that do not represent the whole population.

A rarity on western TV: Well-dressed and well-fed African children

7 Reasons Why Nigerian Sites Have Bad Grammar

I visit a lot of Nigerian-produced news and entertainment sites, blogs and forums, and unfortunately a lot of the writing there leaves a lot to be desired. It's disappointing when a fascinating subject is ruined by bad grammar, the hyper-zealous use of a thesaurus or grand, convoluted sentences when simpler phrasing would do.

I wish I could 'red-pen' websites...

As an avid wordsmith who has studied the art of writing, sentences like Yes, i understand; 90's CD's and DVD's or Am in love irks me. (If you see nothing wrong with these sentences, then I envy the ease of your daily reading experience!)

And the habit of writers to use twelve words when three would do is also bothersome, so that a sentence like:

"Little five-year-old Ayo Azeez's mother had left his biological father after irreconcilable misunderstanding which led to their separation. The boy then became gravely ill and was immediately rushed to a nearby hospital but he gave up even before any medication could be administered on him."

Should be edited to:

"Five year old Ayo Azeez's mother had separated from his father before he fell ill. He was then rushed to a nearby hospital but died before receiving treatment."  

It sure does

Here are 7 reasons why I believe many Nigerians employ verbose, unprofessional English:

1. Sub-standard University Education

All Nigerians that can afford it go to university because education is a matter of pride and necessity. But the education many receive is often of low quality due to the lack of government funding and rampant teacher strikes caused by the non-payment of salaries, which turns a three-year degree into a six-year interrupted struggle. Inconsistent electricity also interrupts the use of computers and other technologies vital for a thorough education. Eventually poor students become poor teachers and the cycle is unbroken.

2. Journalism is an Unpopular Degree

Law, accounting and medical degrees are popular choices for Nigerians, but journalism is not. This is due to the little attention paid to literature and the lower pay journalists expect. The country's children are not encouraged to pursue a writing career and the majority of the country's journalists today began their careers in a completely different profession.

In my case, my father was a broadcast journalist and I read all the books on our bookshelf (my mother was once an avid reader though she no longer cares for books). My favourite was Enid Blyton's The Adventures of the Wishing Chair and I wanted to be a children's writer before deciding on journalism. I was neither encouraged nor discouraged to pursue it, and growing up I'd never heard of any Nigerian print journalists.

3. Poor Reading Culture

It is a sad fact that Nigerians don't value reading. Things Fall Apart by Nigerian Chinua Achebe is the most famous book written by an African, yet the ratio of Americans to Nigerians who have read it is probably 3:1. The more one reads, the better their grammar, and Nigerian writer Chimamanda Adichie set up The Farafina Trust to encourage reading and creative writing stating that::

"...If my novel had been first published in Nigeria...I would not have had an editor or publicity or marketing. The newspapers would have taken scant notice... [and] I would expect only family and friends to buy the novel because we are a country of people who do not regard and do not read literature. Many Nigerians say...we are too poor to read. Literature is, after all, a middle-class preserve and... reading has been put aside for the pursuit of basic survival."

Nigerians should encourage their children to read

4. Bribery

Institutional bribery means that the least intelligent but wealthy students often get the best grades above the intelligent but poorer students, so that those that get the writing jobs in the end are unqualified having only bought their grades.

5. Nepotism

To get a good job in Nigeria, who you know gets you further than ability or education. Many under-qualified people become 'Features Editor' or 'Reporter' because their aunt or brother-in-law is the Editor or Publisher. So someone with friends in high places, a degree in Forestry and a disregard for proper sentence structures can have their work published in the country's most popular publications.

6. English as a Second Language

English is the official language but all Nigerians have a different mother-tongue and many are only familiar with pidgin-English. This means that the level of acceptable spoken and written English in many arenas is lower than in western establishments, and the errors prevalent in using imperfect grammar is ignored or not even noted.

7. The 'More is Best' Thinking

Nigerians are often extroverts and this follows into their writing where the 'posher' the words sound, the better the writer is regarded. I remember reading a letter from my grandfather to my mother and being perplexed by the formal tone, along the lines of  "it is with the utmost trepidation that I hasten to..."

This contrasts with Western writing where simplicity and succinctness rule, and industry standards mean that British articles have a particular flow unlike Nigerian articles. Of course there are Nigerians trained in universal journalistic principles from the country's best universities, and quality publications like Thisday are thankfully well written, but Nigerians desecrating the English language abound all over the web.

Some of the websites I visit leave me shaking my head in disbelief or giggling at the unintentional humour of the more ambitious sentences.

I'm a Submissive Woman...What's Wrong With That?

I am not as young or as innocent as I look, yet every time I cross the street with any man, whether I've known him 10 minutes or 10 years, they either hold my arm/hand or put a protective hand on my back and lead me to the other side of the road.

Most Western-minded, proudly independent, 21st Century women would be insulted by this because they feel it patronises them; they can cross the street just as well as any man! I don't. I take it as a compliment that a man acts on his natural instinct to protect when he's with me. Some women, because of the aggressive vibe they give out quench this gentlemanly behaviour in guys, but I'd like to think it is because of my sweet, accommodating nature that men are willing to open doors or pull out chairs for me.

Now I know and they know that I can do these things for myself, but that's not the point. I'm a lover of classic literature like Pride and Prejudice because it describes a time when men were men and ladies behaved decently and were treated with care because they were the fairer sex. I am not insulted by this, and I believe that women that are have either been hurt by misogynistic men or were told that a woman is just as good as a man and doesn't need to be treated differently.

Chivalry: Why Not? 

Well, its their loss. If a man wants to treat me nicely because I am a woman, let him. I know I am just as intelligent as he is, so why should his chivalry make me feel bad?

There's a difference between a man opening a door for you and a man not allowing you to speak in public. Women in certain Middle-Eastern or African countries have the right to demand more fairness because they are been oppressed, but I'm afraid if women get more fairness in the West they might stop having babies, because if men don't have to do it, why should we?!

So its obvious that I am not a feminist. I thank the Women's Movement for the vote, shattered glass-ceilings and the Pill, but it all spun out of control when:

Women Started Acting Like Men

Some women think that if a man can sleep with 300 women and be admired by his peers, why can't she sleep with 300 men and be equally respected? Well, umm...apart from this being a cry for help, nature discourages it. A man produces trillions of new sperm daily throughout his lifetime, whilst a woman is born with about 400 viable eggs, is able to fertilise only one a month, and then they run out when she's 45. Also, women tend to get pregnant after sex whilst men can walk away if they so wish, and the reproduction game is such that whilst a man shoots and deposits, a woman receives and incubates.

All this means that nature has given men the ease and biological efficiency to have sex-and-go a lot, whilst women have to deal with the palaver of periods, pregnancy and ticking biological clocks. It kinda seems as if 'Mother Nature' is a misogynistic man trying to ruin women's fun doesn't it?

Fact is women are BUILT differently from men and it is not everything they do that we should do. Those that want to out-earn, out-drink or out-burp men may feel emancipated now, but a wise man is not looking for a woman to compete with but a mate to build a life with, and a woman that uses her femininity to compliment a man will have a happier home.  

 Women Started Demeaning Men

I dislike watching British adverts these days because of the trend for women to belittle men.  Commercials like Windows 7's Family Photo is one that I actually switch channels to avoid watching. I just get angsty about seeing a woman say things to a man that will cause outrage if the tables were turned. Watch a round of adverts next time you're in front of the TV with this in mind, and you'll see stroppy, domineering women chastising gormless men for being inept. Its never the other way round. Because that would be sexist.

 The ad that makes me mad

The funny thing is that ad executives are overwhelmingly male, so either they're being funny, or worried that if they don't toe the feminist line there would be backlash. It's probably the latter.

I was watching a show about weddings, where it is the norm for the bride-to-be to complain that the groom doesn't help enough etc and then a 'Fairy God-mother' is called to help. But one episode had a wealthy young man who was outspoken about the fact that he'll pay for the wedding, but the bride should make all the arrangements (he was American. I noticed that their adverts are fairer). The female voice-over and 'Fairy God-mother' were indignant: how dare he be so honest about his disinterest and put the bride in a bad light! Didn't he read the memo? Only the bride can complain; the man should just nod and apologise!

The gender role-reversal in the media probably reflects reality. Today most divorces are initiated by the woman who is encouraged to not put up with any dissent... I mean failings in a man. Of course I know that men can be *%*#*@*, but perhaps women don't try so hard anymore?

Women Started Saying They Didn't Need Men

I used to say this. Back when I was young and drunk on the feminist power Destiny's Child sung about. Sure women can and have raised babies who became well-adjusted adults without the help of men, but should they? It's fine if you have no choice, but to make a conscious decision that you want to raise your child without a father is like cutting your nose to spite your face. Children from such homes grow up with daddy issues because it was never supposed to be that way.

Women also say this to mean they can buy their own houses, cars, clothes, weaves, shoes etc without the help of men. That's fabulous. I'm sure the men are quite happy not to have to pay for all these things too. But I personally want my husband to take care of me and be the breadwinner, a man who feels that it is his responsibility to provide for his family.

And in marriage I'll take primary care of the children, (since they grew in my body for nine months and were then fed with my body-juice, it seems fair) cook, clean, work and help my husband be the best he can be, whilst he protects, provides and loves and respects me as the superwoman-mother-wife-lady I am. It'll be great if he'll help with the dishes sometimes, but he doesn't have to.

I want to exemplify the lyrics to that long-forgotten song:

"I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never, ever let you forget you're a man, cause I'm a woman."

It's old-fashioned and I love it. There's something....wholesome about the natural order of things.

10 Reasons Why Hausa Nigerians Riot

Northern Nigeria has a long history of religious and ethnic violence, with Hausa/Muslim men the main perpetrators.

In 2002 the Miss World Contest was relocated from Abuja, Nigeria to London because of violent deaths as Hausa-Muslims protested against the competition; in 2005 200 people were killed in Northern states after a Dutch newspaper published cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad; In 2007 a Christian teacher was burnt alive by Muslim students after rumours spread that she had dropped the Qur'an, and in 2011 houses were burnt and people killed by angry Hausa/Muslim protesters following the election victory of Southern President Goodluck Jonathan instead of the Northern presidential candidate Muhammadu Buhari.

Rioting Youths in Kano

So are Hausas too aggressive? Does Islam promote violence? Here are 10 reasons why I think there is so much unrest in the North.

1. Easygoing But Serious-Minded

As stated in my previous post 8 Reasons Why You Meet Few Hausas in the UK, Hausas are primarily laid-back people who are more reserved than the exuberant Southerners. But though they have calm personalities, they are very serious-minded about honour and religion. They are easy to get along with but the one thing they never joke about Islam.

2. Strict Nature of Islam

The fact that most Hausas are Muslims also explains their serious personalities and inability to compromise. Islam, as opposed to Christianity, is very strict about its customs which have to be fully obeyed without excuse. Whereas not every Christian fasts for Lent or covers their head when they pray, and Christianity tolerates criticism and casual observance from its followers, Muslim leaders demand total obedience and questioning authority is highly discouraged.

So as Islam has been a major influence in Hausa communities for centuries, it has shaped the Hausa man's strictness and intolerance of dissent. This intolerance is also evident in other Islamic countries like Saudi Arabia and Pakistan where other religions are surpressed.

3. Religious Leaders

The Imams in the Hausa community have a lot of power in influencing the way the people think. But certain Imams, armed with the knowledge that their people are highly intolerant of Islamic disrespect, often provoke Hausa youths to violence to further their own political or economic interests. Most Hausas never even saw the Dutch cartoons, but at the instigation of their Imams they committed murder when told that so-and-so insulted the Prophet.

The Qur'an

4. Lack of Family

The culture of poor Hausa parents sending their young sons off to Islamic boarding schools miles from their homes is a major factor to the prevalence of millions of unsupervised youths (Almajiris) terrorising the streets of Northern Nigeria. These youths grow up with no parental care and are desolate, desperate and unskilled. The lack of moral guidance coupled with the neglect and abuse from their Imams (the kids have to beg for food and money) leaves the almajiris suseptible to criminal activities including murder and vandalism.

5. Islamic Education

Hausa-Muslims despise state education (which they deem western and Christian) and insist on only an Islamic education for their youth, which isolates them from other Nigerians (and the world) in terms of understanding science, maths, writing and other information vital to knowing how the world works. The singular curriculum of a Qur'anic education not only blinds almajiris to universal truths but also disables their ability to deal efficiently in the professional and business arena, and so they remain poor and dependant on Imams who use their ignorance and idleness for violence.

6. Lack of Jobs

A Hausa man with a full time job does not have the time to riot. But many Hausa youths are just as jobless as their Southern counterparts and they can be paid or easily pushed to violence in relation to their religion because Islam is all they know and all they have.

7. Pack Mentality

The Hausa/Fulanis are less likely to inter-marry or mingle with other ethnicities in Nigeria, which means that they remain closely-knit and fiercely defensive of their culture; when you attack one you attack all. The mixture of views and backgrounds in the South makes it harder for people there to come together under one ideology, but the unambiguity of Islam and cultural cohesiveness of the Hausas makes it easier for them to unite to defend their religion.

8. Religion vs Money

Hausas are more religion-conscious than money-conscious. They would rather be thought of as good Muslims than rich men. That is why religious disrespect (also linked to cultural honour) is the only thing that will bring a Hausa man to shout in the streets, whereas in areas like the Niger Delta it is the desire for more oil wealth that gets the youths rioting.

9. Ethnic divisions

The difference between Hausa/Fulanis and other Nigerians is more pronounced because of the influence of Islam. Whereas Yorubas, Igbos and other ethnicities in Nigeria share Christianity, language origins and cultural similarities, the Hausa/Fulanis are distinct, which means issues are easily turned into an 'us' vs 'them' situation.

10. Christianity vs Islam

The New Testament emphasises love for your neighbour, and the statement by Jesus that if someone wrongs you 'turn the other cheek' is well known amongst Christians and non-Christians so that violence is discouraged. But Islam is more tolerant about fighting for your religion ("Fighting is obligatory for you, much as you dislike it" Surah 2:216), and the concept of jihad, infidels and matyrdom leading to paradise is encouraged by Imams.

Islam is also male-dominated and women are separated so that their gentler influence on the religion is absent, as opposed to Christianity where it is often the mother that exemplifies the religion and women fill the church.

?SOLUTION?

Ex-British Prime Minister Tony Blair once said the UK's main objective should be:

"Education, Education, Education"

It is also true for Northern Nigeria. I know Hausa men whose natural inclination towards intolerance has been quelled by mainstream education or Christianity. Education elevated the primitive, barbaric and superstitious European into reasoned men who instituted laws based on fairness and justice and not an ancient book, and it can do the same for Northerners.

Someone once said:

"With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil; but for good people to do evil — that takes religion"

This is true of Hausa Muslims. But with a decent state education their religion will stop being a hindrance to their humanity.

Why I Love The Hausa Language

I'm in love with the Hausa language, my mother tongue. I love the beauty of its words and its history and etymology.

When I was younger we spoke it at home as usual, then when my siblings and I started school we started speaking to our parents primarily in English, until soon my mother started speaking to us in English also. So as there was no one around speaking it regularly, I started to forget. 

This was fine at first because in London speaking Hausa was not a requirement. I thought I was still fluent till I dated a Hausa guy and we tried having a conversation and to my horror I found myself having to pause and think before coming up with the right words, or asking him to slow down so I could understand better, and finding out that due to the termination of my Hausa speaking in childhood, most of my vocabulary was domesticated and confined to family/home discourses so that a conversation on the presidential election was beyond my capabilities. 

I was, however, pleased to note that I could still pronounce certain words correctly, like daya (one) or kara (add) where the 'd' and 'k' is a sharp, implosive sound, or tsaya (stand/stay) where the 's' is pronounced with quick 't' before it. These are all tricks of the tongue that can't be easily taught. There's also the subtle differences with words spelt the same way, like gashi which means hair when the last syllable is low, and 'take this' when it is high.

So a phrase with a double sharp 'd' like 'ga gyada mai dadi,' which I remember young girls chanting in Kaduna as they walked by with a tray full of tins of groundnuts on their heads for sale, would be a challenge for non-native speakers.

Hausa is the most widely spoken language from the Chadic languages group, which in turn is part of the Afro-Asiatic language family where Arabic comes from. This makes it distinct from many other African languages, and rather than the drum-beat influenced sounds of Nigerian languages like Yoruba, Hausa has sharper sounds and spiked parts, and extensive use of 'a' and 'i' vowels as opposed to 'o' and 'u'.

(See more explanations of the Hausa language on Wikipedia here)

The historical connection between Hausa/Fulanis and Arab/Asians extends beyond their common Islamic history. Arabic phrases have become part of the Hausa language, e.g. In sha' Allah which means God willing; and Indian film and music styles are emulated amongst Hausa/Fulanis, as is Henna hand decorations for women which originated in India and Islamic clothing styles and head coverings. The ancestory of the nomadic Fulanis, who have an Arabian appearance and are present in other parts of West Africa as well as Nigeria, have also been traced to Mauritania in North Africa. 

People from Mauritania in North Africa

I remember, whilst waiting at a bus stop a while back, hearing the man standing next to me speaking Hausa on the phone. I was amazed! I'd never heard Hausa spoken by a non-family member outside of Nigeria before so I strained to hear him some more and after he ended his call I couldn't resist introducing myself. It was like no matter who he was, we had the Hausa language in common which made him familiar and safe.

I've since made new Hausa friends and they think nothing of speaking to their family and friends in Hausa, but to me, the crisp words are music to my ears and a joyful re-introduction to my history, and as they speaks it's as if my past is unravelled as I remember phrases and words I'd long forgotten. 

Speaking Hausa again is like re-discovering something valuable that you lost without knowing when, so that when you find it again you are pleasantly surprised and hold on tighter to it this time around.

Gari and Water vs Gari and Milk

I love gari, milk and sugar. I have it for breakfast sometimes, like an exotic cereal, or as a snack. Its also great as a big lunch because the gari grains have a way of expanding in your stomach that leaves you fuller for longer.

Gari

But I've been told that drinking gari with milk is odd and that it is normally drunk with water. I think "Ewww," it would taste too bland and unappetising without the fuller, creamier flavour milk gives it, especially when the gari granules are the soft, fine ones and not the tougher, coarser, larger grains.

I know most people drink it with water and even add ground nuts, kuli kuli or beans to it. Not me. Just give me gari, milk and sugar and I'm happy. 

Everybody else just does not know what they're missing.

6 Reasons Why Rap Music is Bad for Nigerians

I used to like rap back when it was poptastic and artists like Mase, JaRule and Nelly were making hits. But now (maybe because I'm older?) I think the popular forms of the genre is detrimental to Black people's achievement because it encourages a culture that:

1) Turns ignoramuses into millionaires that buy $50 million cars, huge necklaces worth more than houses and a full set of diamond teeth
2) Encourages middle-aged men to dress like teenagers who wear caps, hoodies, jeans and trainers to corporate events
3) Reduces beautiful women into willing sex-objects (video vixens) valued for nothing more than their fat behinds
4) Funds and fuels violence by making violent rappers rich
5) Glorifies and promotes promiscuity, greed, revenge, hate and other shameful vices
6) Turns would-be doctors and lawyers into education-less layabouts with delusions of grandeur who spit boastful, violence-ridden lyrics that get them nowhere, until they wake up one day aged 40 and discover that they have wasted their youth chasing pipe dreams of becoming the next Jay Z.

Yes, rap music has given Black people a voice, can be a force for good and a source of enlightenment and has provided an avenue for many to attain wealth and influence. But for every 50 Cent there are a thousand more who never make it and lead unproductive lives because they wasted their best years chasing a fruitless dream and end up bitter because of it.

I'm putting aside the entertainment value of rap music and looking into its societal effects.

Thank God Nigerian parents still demand that their kids to go to university and become accountants and engineers and that many young Nigerians chase professions. Although some born and bred in the West are lost to the Music Monster, a lot more excel in jobs that will actually feed their families long term.

It could be argued that the music genre itself cannot be held responsible for leading countless people astray. And the fact that many youths prefer to get rich through the relatively simplistic art of rhyming rather than the discipline of education and apprenticeship has more to do with our skewed culture than rap itself.

I don't know.

All I know is that I'll be a typical Nigerian mother who will discourage my child if they tell me they want to rap. I want to stop them from becoming a stereotype because the industry is over-subscribed with countless black boys and girls hoping for music superstardom. I'll tell them that they must earn a degree otherwise I will cut them out of my will, and if they continue to have a passion for music, I'll encourage them to learn a musical instrument which would actually earn them money in the future when their lyrical flow doesn't.

"You Are A Fake Nigerian"

Expert Nigerian: Where are you from?
Me: I am British-Nigerian
Expert Nigerian: Really?
Me: Yes, my parents are from Nigeria
Expert Nigerian: But you don't sound Nigerian...
Me: I know, I can't help that.

Expert Nigerian: You don't even look Nigerian
Me: Well both my parents are fully Nigerian
Expert Nigerian: When was the last time you visited?
Me: I've never been there...yet
Expert Nigerian: Aha! See, how can you belong to a country you've never been to?!
Me: But I keep up to date with all the latest news online and through Nigerian newspapers. I speak with Nigerians back there and around the world all the time

Expert Nigerian: Your name is British...
Me: Yeah, it wasn't originally though. It's a long story...
Expert Nigerian: So you even changed your name?! *shakes head in disbelief*
Me: So because I have a British name I cannot be a real Nigerian?
Expert Nigerian: Well with your British name, British education and not ever visiting there, you are NOT a real Nigerian....
Me: But my heritage, history and family is all Nigerian....
Expert Nigerian: Yes, but your family abandoned the country a long time ago
Me: So? I'm even thinking of going back soon...

Expert Nigerian: You don't know Nigeria at all. Most of what you know you've read from books. It's second hand information
Me: So? It's still valid. I probably know more about the statistics and political situation of the country than some Nigerians living there.
Expert Nigerian: But they live and breathe the air there every day, they have real experiences
Me: I know the National Anthem and Pledge of Allegiance...
Expert Nigerian: So? You've never lived or worked there. You haven't sweated everyday under the hot sun, or drove around on the roads...

Expert Nigerian: You're just a wannabe-Nigerian, a British-Nigerian indeed...
Me: Yes, Indeed.
Expert Nigerian: But you have a British passport. You are a British citizen
Me: I can choose to have a green passport tomorrow if I want. I speak Hausa...
Expert Nigerian: But not fluently...
Me: So? What about the white people born in Nigeria, like Oscar winning British actor Colin Firth of The King's Speech? He was born in Nigeria. If he had chosen to remain there and learnt the language and worked and lived in Lagos and drove home on Nigerian roads everyday in the hot sun, will that make him more Nigerian than me?
Expert Nigerian: *Silence*
Me: The white man that wrote the Hausa dictionary I have, he was a fluent Hausa speaker. Is he more Nigerian than me?
Expert Nigerian: *silence, shakes head*

Me: I may think and dream in English, and I may not be 100% fluent in Hausa, but if you dropped me in Kaduna tomorrow, I will manage...
Expert Nigerian: Yes, but most of your knowledge about Nigeria today is from books. Books and your fellow wannabe-Nigerian friends who visit once a year to put on a fake pidgin accent, then return to their jobs in Britain and forget about Nigeria for the rest of the year.
Me: That's not true. I know Nigerians who live in England but the food they eat, the clothes they wear, the churches they go to, 95% of the people they socialise with and even the shops they buy from is Nigerian. The only thing British about them is the street they live on and the channels on their TV
Expert Nigerian: Yes but...
Me: And I know other 'real Nigerians' who as you say, lived in Nigeria for decades before coming to the UK and speak their language fluently, but they dislike Nigeria and other Nigerians, will never go back to visit and put on a posh accent and pretend they have nothing to do with Nigeria. Are they more Nigerian than me?
Expert Nigerian: Hmm
Me: I love Nigeria. I write about it as a Journalist and blog about it. Nobody makes me keep alive an interest in my country, I choose to. In fact, sometimes it would be easier to forget or deny my heritage. So I think I am worthy to be called a Nigerian. My experiences of the country may be different from yours but I am just as Nigerian as you are. I am as Nigerian as I say I am.

8 Reasons Why You Meet Few Hausa/Fulanis in the UK

I have met few Hausa people in all the time I've lived the UK, but I have many Yoruba and Igbo friends and have met hundreds of others.

I know we're all one; ever since the British decided to bring these three distinct peoples together under one nation called Nigeria, we have shared a destiny and a future. But the Hausa and Fulanis- two distinct groups united by Islam, inter-marriage and history- remain mysterious to many Nigerians abroad due to their relative invisibility. Below are some reasons why I think this is so.

(WARNING: These are wild generalisations. They are based on some facts but it is in NO WAY conclusive, there are lots of exceptions to every rule!)

1. Private People

Hausas are private, reserved people who mind their own business. They are often, in very Islamic states, not as exposed to Western influences as other groups which means that emigration to the UK or the US is not the 'great ideal' they've dreamed about as a result of consuming Hollywood movies or music, as it is to others. Because of their Muslim religion, Islamic countries like Dubai and Saudi Arabia are also more attractive.

2. Simplicity

Hausa people are known for their simplicity (rich Hausa men have been known to walk everywhere and wear the same clothes even though they can afford cars and expensive clothing) so the bright lights of Hollywood or the golden streets of London doesn't hold the same appeal. They are modest and unmaterialistic and don't have the need to obtain expensive things from abroad.

3. Laid-Back

Of course they enjoy the finer things in life, but both Hausa Christians and Muslims don't often go to the great lengths others do to secure a visa to the West. The rigmarole of waiting in line under the hot sun for the whole day outside the US Embassy, the thousands of Naira necessary to secure your tickets out and the paperwork and often dodgy means of acquiring visitor status to enter these countries is not something they pursue. It could be said they lack drive and ambition, which is untrue. A Hausa man's home is his castle and he's able to be content with the little he has as long as he provides for his family.

4. Less Education

Northerners are also less educated than their Southern counterparts. Indeed, many eschew Western-influenced education for traditional Islamic schooling, so going overseas to study and embark on a career is not open to them. They may also prefer travelling to Arab and Islamic countries because they see the West as Christian-influenced which puts them off coming here.

5. Docile Women

Hausa/Fulani women are even less likely to be university-educated than their men, and are sometimes married at an early age, thus their aspirations are stunted and their opportunities for exploring the world limited by their tradition and home lives.


6. Knowing No One Abroad

Another limiting factor to Northerners going abroad may be the fact that they don't know many of their kinsmen living in other countries. If you know people in Mongolia the thought of going there could appeal, otherwise you might choose to stay home instead. Yorubas and Igbos have large communities in many areas around the world so stepping off the plane they have the name of an 'Uncle' or a church to go to.

7. Wealth and Poverty

There are many wealthy Hausa/Fulani Alhajis who do travel abroad, send their children to study in Western universities and conduct business in different countries, but they don't always live amongst other Nigerians. There are also many poor Malams who cannot afford to travel even if they wanted to and learn to make do with the little they have.

8. You Have Met Them But Didn't Know...

Some Fulanis don't 'look' Nigerian. You may also know or have met Nigerians but didn't know they were Hausa/Fulani. So next time you meet an African with a Muslim name, you might be talking to a Hausa or Fulani person; a minority amongst Nigerians in the diaspora.

6 Nigerians That Make Me Proud

Every time I see or hear a Nigerian name in the mainstream media, my ears perk up. There are numerous 'Naija' professionals out there setting high standards in their professions, and below are six brilliant men and women representing Nigeria powerfully on the world stage:

1. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - The Brilliant Writer

I am an eternal fan. Her poignant, searingly honest writing is awe-inspiring. I own, have read and always recommend all three of her books: Purple Hibiscus, Half of a Yellow Sun and The Thing Around Your Neck, because her succinct style and 'alive' characters make me smile and look back to the book cover, just to see her name again in all its Igbo glory emblazoned on the front. Yes, she really is one of us.

I attended an event in London for the release of her last book, and I along with the audience listened in admiration as she read excerpts from The Thing Around Your Neck in her measured, majestic tone: no forced American flourishes or unnecessary embellishments, just the words from her book spoken in a polished Nigerian accent.


Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

 Adichie has won many literary awards for her work, her books have sold millions and she is constantly compared to Chinua Achebe. Yet to me, her most important achievement is in capturing the beautiful, the atrocious, the ordinary, the peculiar, the traditional and the historical of Nigerians in the diaspora. She is chronicling our stories and giving voice to our best and our worst, and for that I am thankful.

2. Chiwetel Ejiofor - The Thoughtful Actor

This British-Nigerian actor has appeared in a host of blockbusters including Love Actually, Four Brothers, American Gangster and 2012.

But it is in the small British film Dirty Pretty Things that his quiet confidence and intensity shine through. Playing a noble Nigerian doctor who fled his country to drive taxis and work in a hotel reception in London, his portrayal of an illegal immigrant struggling to do the right thing was a masterclass in subtle emoting.

Chiwetel Ejiofor

His general gracefulness and reluctance to 'live large' is admirable. Perhaps he owes his stoic demeanour to a history of tragedy (his parents fled to Britain from the Biafran war, but on a trip back to Nigeria as a boy he was sitting in the back of a car that crashed killing his father.) Whatever the case, Ejiofor is a class act that makes me proud to be Nigerian.

3. David Olusoga - The BBC Producer

This is most of what I know about this producer is from the website Faber & Faber:

"David Olusoga is an Anglo-Nigerian historian and producer. Working across radio and television, his programmes have explored the themes of colonialism, slavery and scientific racism. He has travelled extensively in Africa, and has been drawn to Namibia and its troubled history for several years. He currently works as a producer for the BBC."

It was after watching a fascinating documentary on BBC Four called Abraham Lincoln: Saint or Sinner that I saw 'David Olusoga' named as the producer. I hurriedly googled it. We might appear in front of the screen, but to produce a programme was another impressive story.

So although I don't know more about him or even what he looks like, his name alone testifies to his achievement as a Nigerian bringing his historical research to the screen.

4. Precious Williams - The Triumphant Journalist

At four months old, this journalist was given away by her rich Igbo mother to a white woman to be raised in an all-white area of Sussex. Williams' subsequent feelings of abandonment, ignorance about her Africaness and confusion about where she belonged (the white family who loved her or the Black mother who looks like her but ignores her?) is documented in her memoir Precious: A True Story.

 Precious Williams

Her story is all the more poignant in light of recent legislation by the British government to allow colour-blind adoption, which would particularly benefit Black kids who are last to be adopted because of a shortage of Black adoptees. Although placing minority children with loving white parents seems decent, Williams has spoken out against it because of her traumatic experience.

Her book was touching and provocative, and her achievements despite it all (she went to Oxford and is now a successful journalist) inspiring. It also made me question our Nigerian culture's high esteem of a Western career even to our detriment, and our desire for our children to 'speak with a posh accent,' both of which were reasons behind Williams' mother's decision to give her away.

5. Seun Osewa - Nairaland Founder 


His website Nairaland is a favourite destination of mine where I go to keep up with what's going on in Nigeria and the diaspora. It's where I learnt that Nigerians, whether Hausa, Yoruba or Igbo; are hilarious, religious, respectful of elders and the institution of marriage, greatly value education and our culture, and, although very critical of certain aspects, are always proud of their country.

I've learnt a lot about relationships, shared my thoughts and reactions with other posters in real time whilst watching the 2010 World Cup, cried with others following the murder of a regular poster and marvelled at the ridiculousness of some of the news that come out of our country. e.g. Woman gives birth to snake.

This online community of millions has been made possible by the genius of website developer Osewa. So for all that Nairaland means to me and many of Nigerians all over the world every day, Thank You.

6. Aliko Dangote - Controversial Billionaire

He is not just a wealthy Nigerian worth $13.8 billion, he made it into Forbes' List as the Richest Black man in the world. Dangote is the only Northern Nigerian on my list and I remember being proud when he was featured on BBC's An African Journey with Jonathan Dimbleby where the presenter flew on Dangote's private jet and was pleasantly surprised at the efficiency of Dangote's factories.

Aliko Dangote

Although he has benefited from having friends in very high political places and his success isn't without controversy, I was personally impressed when he stated:

"[Nigerians] can be even bigger than me, you just have to believe that yes, there is a future in this country of ours. I don't believe we have even started doing anything in Nigeria because the opportunities are so enormous. If you give me $5 billion today, I will invest everything here in Nigeria."

Here's a man representing us in global business and who speaks of reinvesting into Nigeria as opposed to taking his money elsewhere. Sannu da aiki Alhaji Dangote!