Nigerian Weddings vs British Weddings

I was captivated by the elegance and efficiency of the Royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton. There was a real sense of regal simplicity and everything ran smoothly.

'The Kiss' by the Royal Couple

But what would the wedding have looked like Nigerian-style? Below is a look at the differences in culture between a Nigerian and a British wedding.

INVITATIONS
Brits: Invitations are sent out weeks ahead to guests with final numbers strictly adhered to for catering and seating purposes. The invite is usually from the bride and groom and the design and style can be elegant or humorous.

Nigerians: The concept of invitation-only weddings seems selfish to Nigerians so everyone is welcome, even the bride's friend's sister's neighbour or the groom's tennis coach's girlfriend's aunt. But invitations do go out and are usually formal and from the couple's parents requesting your attendance to their children's wedding.

VENUE
Brits: The church is no longer the only acceptable place for Brits to swap vows and weddings now take place in McDonald's, on roller coasters, under water and in pubs.

Nigerians: Religion is of huge importance to Nigerians and the majority of weddings take place in a church or mosque. The thought of conducting a service in an informal setting is laughable and would bring shame and ridicule to the traditionally minded parents of the couple.

A Yoruba Bride and Groom in Traditional Wedding Dress (flamboyant cakes are popular)

PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT
Brits: The couple's mothers tend to want to dictate a large portion of the occasion and are very hands on with arrangements. They can, however, be forced to be flexible so that everyone is happy.

Nigerians: The couple's mothers tend to want to dictate a large portion of the occasion and are very hands on with arrangements. The younger generation often succumbs to the desires of the elders.

TIME-KEEPING
Brits: Time-keeping is important and efforts are made to keep to schedule and not over-run. The Order of Service are followed closely and even speeches are timed to the minute.

Nigerians: Time-keeping? Ha! Does anyone even arrive wearing a watch? A 12pm start is really a 3:43pm start, the bridal party is expected to be very fashionably late, the sermon can last an hour, the reception starts when everybody gets there and the Order of Service is used as a hand-held fan.

WEDDING PARTY
Brits: The wedding party consists of three or four pairs of bridesmaids and grooms men, a best man and maid-of-honour, a page-boy and one or two flower-girls.

Nigerians: The wedding party consists of nine or ten pairs of bridesmaids and grooms men, a best man and maid-of-honour, two or three page-boys and three or four flower-girls.

A Nigerian wedding party

DRESS CODE
Brits: Smart, formal dresses, suits and hats in conservative colours. Female guests avoid wearing white so as not to upstage the bride.

Nigerians: Colours galore! From the monumental geles on the women's heads to the elaborately patterned aso-ebis and ankara dresses on show, fashion is a serious factor in Nigerian weddings. Sunglasses are common and large jewellery, matching accessories and green crocodile-skin shoes for men are welcome. Friends and family of the bride wear the same coloured fabric tailored to suit their individual styles and the groom's guests wear another.

The couple have two opportunities to showcase their couture, first at the traditional wedding (with a separate cake, traditional vows, bride price and lots of postrating before elders) where everyone wears native attire, then at the white wedding although guests can wear native dress to both.

Example of the vivid wedding 'uniform' (aso-ebi), sunglasses and thick jewellery at a Nigerian wedding

SERMON
Brits: The sermon by the Vicar is scripted and traditional and lasts no more than 20 minutes.
Nigerians: The sermon by the Pastor is unscripted and includes much advice, humorous marriage anecdotes and audience participation and can last an hour.

RECEPTION DECORATION
Brits: Colour-themed, draped chairs and tables, centre-pieces and favours.
Nigerians: Colour-themed, draped chairs and tables, centre-pieces, favours and snacks like chin-chin and puff- puff, canned drinks and large juice cartons waiting on the tables.

A Benin/Igbo Bride and Groom in Traditional Wedding Dress

NUMBER OF GUESTS 
Brits: Guests can number from 10 to 300 for a large wedding.
Nigerians: Guests can number from 200 to 3,000 for a large wedding

SEATING
Brits: There are place-names and everyone knows where they ought to sit. There is also a top table for the bridal party.
Nigerians: There are no place-names and everyone sits where they want. There is a top table on a stage for the bridal party.

A Hausa Bride and Groom in Traditional Wedding Dress

FOOD
Brits: A set menu of three courses including dessert, tabled or from a buffet with alcohol a-plenty from a bar
Nigerians: A varied buffet serving up to twelve dishes including jollof rice, fried rice, yam, meat and fish dishes, salad, sauces and pounded yam. There is no dessert (except the wedding cake) but lots of soft drinks and non-alcoholic malt beer like Supermalt. There is usually no alcohol.

MUSIC
Brits: A live band playing guitar-led music or a wedding singer
Nigerians: An energetic live band playing drum-led music with religious lyrics, or if the couple is rich, a famous musician like TuFace or Ice Prince.

Example of Nigerian Wedding Cake (Probably for a Traditional Wedding)

DANCING

Brits: Bride and Groom have the first dance, then guests dance demurely until drunk when their moves become more comical and exuberant.

 

Nigerians: Bride and Groom have the first dance and are expected to energetically showcase their dance skills whilst guests paste dollar bills on their foreheads which drop to the ground and are gathered up by a member of the bridal party employed for such a task. The guests then dance with exuberance without the need for alcohol.

GIFTS

Brits: Wedding presents are expected and given, often from a gift list but giving money is frowned upon.

Nigerians: Wedding presents are expected but many guests arrive empty-handed. Giving money in white envelopes is common and appreciated. Towards the end of the evening, guests receive personalised gifts bearing a picture of the couple and a message from the gifts' sponsor, e.g. calendars or mugs with a smiling picture of 'Bunmi and Ade; 22/05/10 May God Bless Your Union; Love from the Adenuga Family.' Wealthier couples give out luxury gifts, from televisions to designer handbags to select guests.

 

Union between the Western and the Traditional

My Fulani Experience In Nigeria So Far...

In England, people usually got my ethnicity wrong, were surprised when I told them the truth and I had to tell the story of my background so many times. But in Nigeria...it’s the exact same story!

The only difference is that here people sometimes guess I am Fulani thanks to their familiarity with my people and my resemblance to my kin. But the wonder still persist. Here are the top four questions I get asked the most, in no particular order:

“Are you Nigerian?”

“Which state are you from?”

“Is that a Fulani name?” (It’s not)
"Do you speak Fulfude?" (Sadly, I don't)

So even in my own country, I remain a source of fascination regarding my origin. I thought I’d fit right in, no questions needed to be asked, my membership to my tribe would be obvious and my sense of belonging would be complete. Nope.

But a good thing is that, like I said, people are obviously more familiar with Fulanis in Nigeria than in England. Many Southerners, upon finding out which town/village I come from, tell me stories of their experiences with the town either through doing their NYSC Youth Service there or through business, and tell me how nice the place is. I then tell them I've never been there but would love to go. I've also met non-Fulanis from my state which was interesting.

People also have their own stereotypes and notions of us. I’ve been told by various people that Fulanis are:

1. Very intelligent, especially when educated

2. Never forgive

3. Calm, gentle and polite

4. Shy

5. Are loyal friends

6. Are disliked by some Southerners for their violence
7. Are beautiful and graceful
8. Are a mystery

I’ve met many more Fulanis in the few months I’ve been in Abuja than I did in all my life in the UK, and they fall into three categories:

Older Rich Fulanis: Who are often very nice, informative and interested in my upbringing and background, although I do feel odd and almost apologetic about my appearance when I'm with them, in that they're used to Fulani women covered up from head to toe, and here I am in a suit/jeans/dress.

Young Fulani Ladies and Gentlemen: I've met them at parties, weddings and through friends. The wealthy Muslims are very nice, but stick together and I don't really fit in there with them. The few Christians I've met (who are often bi-ethnic: one parent Fulani and the other from another tribe) are more open, but I normally hang out with Northern, Hausa speaking Christians from a variety of tribes I'd never heard of before coming to Abuja. 

Poor Fulanis: Usually herding cattle numbering from 10 cows to 200. Sometimes the cattle would walk leisurely across the road and delay cars. I see them as I drive past and I've noticed that 80% of the time, the herders are kids no more than 16 years old, both male and female. (Below are pictures of some Fulanis living near my area, taken by a photography colleague)

A Family of Fulani women and children

 A Fulani-designed Calabash

 

 A little boy outside his hut

I once saw a little Fulani girl-herder, no more than 5 years old. She had an ashy face, over-sized slippers on her tiny feet and her clothes hung off her. She was confidently beating the cow closest to her with a long stick so it would move faster. I stared at her from the car window and she looked back at me with both the innocence of a child and the confidence of a skilled herder.

I kick myself every time I think about her for not taking a picture, but then again, somehow I'm glad I didn't because that would be rude, an invasion of her privacy. I would feel like a voyeuristic Westerner, there to gawp at and flash a camera at the poor child as she went about her business, so that she would become a commodity for others to stare at and pity. But for economics and the grace of God, that little girl could have been me.

I've also seen Fulani teenage girls; long, slender and graceful, carrying a tray of some local food or other on their heads for sale. I've also seen the men going about their business. I often make the mistake of confusing Kanuri people for Fulanis because they look very similar in appearance.

Kanuri Women

I also once saw a strange sight: two tall, slender Fulani men wearing tight, colourful, too-short trousers, colourful tops and what seemed like make-up on their faces. Their hair was long and plaited and they stood at the side of the road, totally oblivious and unself-conscious about their vibrant appearance. I was shocked! I was then told that that's how some young Fulani men dress. Hmmm....

I've never wished I spoke Fulfude more than I do now I'm in Abuja. Because here Hausa is no longer a novelty as literally everybody in Abuja speaks it, even the Yorubas and Ibos. They speak it better than me  because it's the lingua-franca here, just like Yoruba is the lingua-franca in Lagos. Of course the non-native Hausas speak it with a heavy accent, but they're fluent nonetheless. So to speak Fulfude would not only be a source of pride, but give me an edge over the Hausa speakers. 

I blame my parents. My paternal grandmother only spoke Fulfude, not even Hausa, but we didn't visit her enough and she's long gone, and my parents' generation mostly speak Hausa.

So here I am, a non-Fulfude speaking Fulani who's never been to her town or village. I must be the least Fulani Fulani in the history of Fulanidom.

I recently heard a great speech from a Nigerian elder statesman Alhaji Maitama Sule, who is a former politician revered for his inspirational oratory, eloquence and wisdom. He encouraged Nigerian politicians to become more like the Fulani herdsman, imploring them to adopt many of the characteristics of the herder. He then explained how each herder knew each of their cows by name, and when each cow is called by its name, it separates itself from the others and dutifully walks towards the herder. The cows also understand and obey instructions in Fulfude.

The herdsman sleeps out in the open with the cows, eats when they eat and rests when they rest, and if a cow is in danger, he risks his life to ensure their safety. His purpose in life is to ensure his cattle's well-being and because he would lay down his life for them, they follow him wherever he goes because they trust him and know he has their best interests at heart.

Alhaji Sule also said that in the holy books, all the great leaders and prophets were herdsmen.

The strength of the bond between the herder and his cattle was eye-opening for me, and I gained a higher level of respect for him. The cows are not just their livelihood and symbol of wealth, but also their responsibility and almost like their children.

Alhaji Sule's desire for Nigerian politicians to emulate the lowly Fulani herdsman as the epitome of servant-leadership was a vivid and compelling argument.

I was proud.

My Life as the Only Northerner Amongst Southerners

Because I'm a Christian and Fulanis are Muslims, and because my family never lived amongst other Northerners in the UK, I have grown up surrounded by Yorubas and Igbos. So at the Nigerian event I go to I am the only Northerner present. I am sometimes the first Fulani person many people have ever met.

Being amongst your countrymen yet feeling out of place for being the only one of your ethnicity is an interesting predicament.

Feeling Like an Outsider
No one ever assumes I'm Nigerian, so I'm always self-conscious at a Nigerian gathering. People say I look Jamaican, West Indian, Sierra Leonean, Ethiopian, Cameroonian, Somalian...I've heard it all, except Nigerian. When people question your origin all the time and are surprised when you tell them where you're from, you start to view yourself differently.

Sometimes I feel like declaring my origin the minute I step into a Nigerian event to avoid confusion, or tattoo 'Yes, I am Nigerian too' on my forehead. I often feel like an impostor at these gatherings, and I imagine that some people are thinking "What's that Jamaican girl doing here?"

In a couple of churches I've been to (and I've been to a lot both as a worshipper and a Christian media journalist) the Pastor would tell a Yoruba joke or proverb at the pulpit that everyone laughs or nods at except me; or the choir would sing a popular Yoruba song everyone else would sing along to except me. I've even been to a Nigerian comedy show where comedians told their jokes in pidgin and Yoruba.


The 'Are You Nigerian?' Question
I've been asked the question 'Are you Nigerian?' at least once a week since forever, and at least three Nigerian acquaintances I've known were unaware that I was one of them for many years. They assumed that I was West Indian.

The funny thing is that when people want to decipher my origins by asking my name, hearing my English name doesn't help. They then ask for my surname (because most Nigerians despite an English first name usually have a 'native' surname) and my equally English surname doesn't help either.

Some people who asked me these questions leave it there and I thus retain my ethnic ambiguity in their eyes. The majority just ask outright "Are you Nigerian?"

People Treat Me Differently

In certain situations, people would speak Yoruba or pidgin to everyone else in the group I'm with, then turn to me to translate what they've just said or joke that I probably don't understand (I understand Pidgin and a bit of Yoruba).

Or people are more gentle or nicer to me than they would be to a fellow Nigerian. For instance when I go up to be served food at the buffet table at a wedding reception, some of the ladies serving would describe the details of the yam porridge (asaro) or beans (ewa agoyin) they're serving me, assuming I'm new to these foods (I'm not). Or a Nigerian Auntie we don't know would chastise my Nigerian friend for doing something, but won't chastise me for doing the same thing because she doesn't feel familiar enough with me.

When people don't think I'm 'one of them' they are nicer in a detached, polite way, but this just strengthens the invisible barrier between us. And some only become 'real' with me when they find out I'm Nigerian too.

Changing Accents

A few people will be verbally-jousting in pidgin, but when I join in the conversation they respond in a British accent. Or someone would talk to my friend in a relaxed Nigerian-accent, but talk to me in a forced British accent.

Or my conversation with someone would begin with them 'forming' the Queen's English to me, but after I tell them I'm Nigerian too thinking that this should get them to relax, they continue to form because they're not quite at home with me being Nigerian.

The Fulani Ambassador 

People often ask me to "say something in Hausa" or they say the Hausa words they know and ask for a translation or a response from me. Some ask me if various stereotypes they've heard about Fulanis are true, and when any Hausa-related issue occurs, they want my thoughts on it.

A couple of Southern Aunties who grew up in the North were delighted when they found out I spoke Hausa, and were happy to speak it again with me. It's always lovely when this happens, and the aunties then make sure to always speak to me in Hausa whenever we meet.

Much to my chagrin though, a few people who have a bit of exposure to Fulanis want to show they know a lot about my people and challenge me on some aspect of my culture. For example:

Them: Isn't the Fulani traditional dress a type of lacey material?

Me: No it's a white, cottony top and wrapper combo with pastel colours at the front.

Them: Are you sure? I swear it's a kind of lacey, covered top that kinda flares at the sleeves...

Me: Nope

Them: I don't think so. Are you really sure?

'Nigerian' means Yoruba

I go to events marked as Nigerian - like the Nigerian carnival in London or a Nollywood film premiere, but usually these events are attended by 85% Yoruba, 10% Igbo and 5% other Southerners. There's even a Yoruba festival in the UK. But I've never heard of an event that celebrates Fulani or Northern culture or ever been to a large Hausa or Fulani gathering that involved more than two families. In my UK experience, being Nigerian means being the only Northerner in a room full of Yorubas.

I enjoy being with my people. There's an easiness and familiarity I appreciate when I'm at such events, and a jovial humour and sense of fun and craziness you wouldn't get anywhere. There's also no wedding like a Nigerian wedding (see my Nigerian Wedding vs British Weddings post)

Yet sometimes I feel acutely aware of my difference: I often don't act, know, understand or feel like everyone else in these places, and for all our kinship I might as well be a white person due to their perception of me and my perception of myself.

Seeing Two Sides
For those that carry clues to their origins in their name, appearance or personality, people have already made up their mind about you before they meet you or the minute they meet you. But my apparent ambiguity means I'm able to note how people respond to me before and after they find out where I'm from.

The majority of White People are indifferent when they find out I'm Nigerian. In fact, many don't even ask unless they have a legitimate reason to. Some express mild surprise because they say I didn't act the way they expected Nigerians to act, and a few have 'the look' of negative pre-judgement quickly pass over their eyes but even then, they successfully continue to act normal.

Nigerians are generally guarded or civil with me to begin with, then when they find out, become friendlier and more comfortable around me. They are also very surprised and ask lost of questions; I've had to recount which State in Nigeria my parents come from, the number of years I've lived in the UK and whether I speak Hausa so many times! 

Northerners embrace me and tell me they suspected it when they find out, but on the whole they have no idea I'm Fulani too due to my non-Muslimness.

Other Africans are surprised because they expected me to be a certain way. Some Jamaicans are so sure I'm one of them that they speak Patois to me and feel very comfortable around me, and when they find out I'm Nigerian they are disappointed. 

Life as 'the only Fulani in the village' is interesting to say the least!

Debenhams' Hausa Sign Annoys Nigerians

People were surprised that major department store Debenhams in London decided to appeal to Nigerian customers by using the Hausa language in their signage last month, because they felt that Hausa was the least popular language spoken by Nigerians in the UK.

Debenhams' Oxford Street store puts up signage featuring the Hausa language at the bottom 

The signs featured the words "Na gode don sayayyarka a Debenhams" which means "Thank you for shopping at Debenhams" in Hausa, with the words also in Arabic and Mandarin. Debenhams said it selected the languages based on the highest number of overseas shoppers who claimed their tax back within the store.

One poster commenting on the topic on the Nairaland forum said:

"I think the shop owners may just be misinformed. Igbo or Yoruba would have been better. I have met very few Hausas in the UK. . . very few."

But I think Debenhams and other major stores like Harrods and Selfridges are right to court Hausa customers.

Hausas may be few in number, but the majority of those in the UK are wealthy and influential and spend lots of money in London. On the other hand, Nigerians from other tribes in the UK are largely working class and often shop in the inner-city areas. The ratio of rich Hausas to average Nigerians may be as low as 1:8, but in terms of spending power, major retailers respect them more.

Also, Hausa/Fulani shoppers are concentrated in the Oxford Street/ Edgware Road area because of the large Muslim and Arab community there, so whilst other tribes spread their wealth across the UK, Hausas are repeat, respected and respectable customers in the same large stores around Oxford Street.

A funny cartoon comparing Igbo, Yoruba and Hausa/Fulani shoppers

Because of the common sight of poor Hausa children begging on the streets of Nigeria and the 'Maiguards' (gatekeepers) of many Nigerian homes been poorly-paid Hausa men, many think that rich Northerners are too few to matter to British retailers.

But professional, educated Hausa/Fulanis in the UK (see my post 8 Reasons Why You Meet Few Hausa People in the UK) are harder to spot because they are not usually found in Nigerian-dominated areas in London as many live outside London. Also, many Hausa/Fulani men and women look 'different' because of their Islamic attire. 

People underestimate Hausa/Fulanis. They imagine we're poor, uneducated and uninterested in the finer things in life. This is true to some extent, but rich Alhajis and their families travel abroad to shop just as much as other tribes, having made their money in politics and business like other Nigerians.

Hausa is also the second most widely spoken language in Africa after Swahili, with approximately 43 million speakers across West Africa including Ghana, Sudan, Togo, Burkina Faso, Benin, Cameroon and Niger. So though Yorubas are dominant in the Nigerian diaspora, there are only 20 million speakers worldwide, the majority of whom are Nigerians with some speakers in Togo and Benin.

I applaud Debenhams for featuring Hausa in its signage, not only because of the language's popularity across Africa but also because this helps to show other Nigerians that Hausa/Fulanis have an important presence outside of Nigeria.

8 Reasons Why You Meet Few Hausa/Fulanis in the UK

I have met few Hausa people in all the time I've lived the UK, but I have many Yoruba and Igbo friends and have met hundreds of others.

I know we're all one; ever since the British decided to bring these three distinct peoples together under one nation called Nigeria, we have shared a destiny and a future. But the Hausa and Fulanis- two distinct groups united by Islam, inter-marriage and history- remain mysterious to many Nigerians abroad due to their relative invisibility. Below are some reasons why I think this is so.

(WARNING: These are wild generalisations. They are based on some facts but it is in NO WAY conclusive, there are lots of exceptions to every rule!)

1. Private People

Hausas are private, reserved people who mind their own business. They are often, in very Islamic states, not as exposed to Western influences as other groups which means that emigration to the UK or the US is not the 'great ideal' they've dreamed about as a result of consuming Hollywood movies or music, as it is to others. Because of their Muslim religion, Islamic countries like Dubai and Saudi Arabia are also more attractive.

2. Simplicity

Hausa people are known for their simplicity (rich Hausa men have been known to walk everywhere and wear the same clothes even though they can afford cars and expensive clothing) so the bright lights of Hollywood or the golden streets of London doesn't hold the same appeal. They are modest and unmaterialistic and don't have the need to obtain expensive things from abroad.

3. Laid-Back

Of course they enjoy the finer things in life, but both Hausa Christians and Muslims don't often go to the great lengths others do to secure a visa to the West. The rigmarole of waiting in line under the hot sun for the whole day outside the US Embassy, the thousands of Naira necessary to secure your tickets out and the paperwork and often dodgy means of acquiring visitor status to enter these countries is not something they pursue. It could be said they lack drive and ambition, which is untrue. A Hausa man's home is his castle and he's able to be content with the little he has as long as he provides for his family.

4. Less Education

Northerners are also less educated than their Southern counterparts. Indeed, many eschew Western-influenced education for traditional Islamic schooling, so going overseas to study and embark on a career is not open to them. They may also prefer travelling to Arab and Islamic countries because they see the West as Christian-influenced which puts them off coming here.

5. Docile Women

Hausa/Fulani women are even less likely to be university-educated than their men, and are sometimes married at an early age, thus their aspirations are stunted and their opportunities for exploring the world limited by their tradition and home lives.


6. Knowing No One Abroad

Another limiting factor to Northerners going abroad may be the fact that they don't know many of their kinsmen living in other countries. If you know people in Mongolia the thought of going there could appeal, otherwise you might choose to stay home instead. Yorubas and Igbos have large communities in many areas around the world so stepping off the plane they have the name of an 'Uncle' or a church to go to.

7. Wealth and Poverty

There are many wealthy Hausa/Fulani Alhajis who do travel abroad, send their children to study in Western universities and conduct business in different countries, but they don't always live amongst other Nigerians. There are also many poor Malams who cannot afford to travel even if they wanted to and learn to make do with the little they have.

8. You Have Met Them But Didn't Know...

Some Fulanis don't 'look' Nigerian. You may also know or have met Nigerians but didn't know they were Hausa/Fulani. So next time you meet an African with a Muslim name, you might be talking to a Hausa or Fulani person; a minority amongst Nigerians in the diaspora.

4 Reasons Why I Hesitate to Say I'm Nigerian

Admitting I am Nigerian is hard when the popular notion of my fellow countrymen is confined to four categories:

1) Fraud: the verbose stranger with bad grammar sending out speculative emails claiming to be wealthy yet asking for your money in the well-known 419 scam.
2) Crudeness: A loud, brightly-attired, rotund woman/man with a thick accent speaking/gesticulating/arguing loudly on the bus/airport/shop/street
3) Corruption: Very wealthy Nigerians who siphon millions from their country's oil wealth into offshore accounts when 80% of their people struggle to make ends meet
4) Education: Individuals with multiple degrees, Masters and PhDs (education is a must in order to be taken seriously by other Nigerians)

OK, so the last one isn't so bad but the first three are a source of embarrassment to me. These attributes are often sensationalised by the media, and I've seen the general crudeness described in number 2) too much around London (Peckham, stand up!)

This leads to my innocent answer of "Surrey" when someone asks "Where do you come from?"

Of course I know what they mean. They want to know where I'm from originally, and often ask if I'm Jamaican. I shake my head no. So knowing I'm not West Indian (which means I'm African) yet being unable to place my lineage because I don't have the familiar multi-syllabled African name, or the recognisable 'African look,' I finally say I'm Nigerian only to be met with surprise.

Let's be clear: When non-Nigerians think of Nigerians they are in fact thinking of someone from the Yoruba tribe, as Yoruba people, often from Lagos are the most visible in the UK and thus exemplify what being Nigerian is in terms of their names i.e. Oluwadamilola Agunyele, fuller facial features and boisterous personalities.

A funny but stereotypical view of Nigerians on British TV

So as someone from northern Nigeria born into a Fulani/Muslim family, I don't fit the stereotype. My name is Western, I have a Fulani appearance: narrow features, slim build and the reserved mannerisms of the Fulanis.

A Fulani couple

People thinking I'm Jamaican used to be great back in secondary school when being African was uncool. But as an accomplished adult proud of my Northern roots, I will not lie. Although after seeing 'The Look' flicker over too many peoples' eyes after telling them I'm Nigerian, a pre-judging look of "Oh, I know what your people are about" or "Oh Gosh, really?" I often hesitate.

Sometimes I try to explain the difference between myself and 'normal Nigerians' by saying I'm from the North, i.e. we have different cultures, attitudes and religious origins because the north is predominantly Muslim and the South Christian. This sometimes works when describing to non-Nigerians why I don't fit the stereotype, although sometimes I'm not sure they get it, especially those that think all Africans speak the same language. But to my fellow countrymen, saying I'm Fulani explains most things. They are still shocked I'm Nigerian though. One Yoruba man kept saying "Really?!" when I told him.

I've been tempted to say I'm Ghanaian. People usually have a more favourable opinion of Ghanaians and like their easy-going, cheerful natures. Also, many people from around the world have travelled to Ghana to explore their long-lost African heritage, to see Elmina's Castle or for an exotic holiday. You'll hardly find any non-Nigerian holidaying in Nigeria.

But luckily, my commitment to sincerity always trumps my reticence. I cannot let the minority that embarrass honest, cultured Nigerians of all tribes make me deny my heritage. In fact, I'm on a mission to give the people around me a more positive view of my country.